my mouth tastes like poor choices
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Can you bring me the toilet please
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
