i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think I won the penis lottery.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
