We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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