Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
