the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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