Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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