used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
