PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
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