So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
