im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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