If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
