check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
