there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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