I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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