Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
