i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
