I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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