He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Randomize
