if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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