My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
