new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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