Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
