she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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