i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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