I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
