Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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