You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
