I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
