Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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