Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
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