Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
