oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she smelled like a LAN party
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
