Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
