somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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