i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
