Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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