Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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