That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
