my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My ATM looks so different sober.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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