I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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