ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize