i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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