I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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