Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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