New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
