well I can't set my house on fire every night
We named our party play list daddy issues
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
