It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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