i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
