I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
