I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
