come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Welp...herpes.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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