): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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