I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize