Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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