i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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