paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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