dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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