I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
