Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
