You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize