How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i dont even know how to be here
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
